16 Things About Me :)

  1. I have been dancing since I was 3 years old
  2. I live in a small town in North Carolina
  3. I have never been on a commercial airplane
  4. I want to go into the Army after college
  5. I am a perfectionist
  6. I am addicted to Pinterest
  7. I am ranked as Cadet Captain in AFJROTC
  8. I love to read and write
  9. I am addicted to Twitter
  10. I dye my hair a lot
  11. My favorite outfit id cardigan, tank top, and shorts
  12. I stress more than I probably should
  13. I’ve lived in 3 states
  14. My favorite piece of jewelry is my promise ring
  15. I may go back into cheerleading next school year
  16. Wihtout my boyfriend I would be a serious loner


Sooooo that’s me…..any questions you wanna ask? Just comment below 🙂 I’d be glad to answer them!


Never Shall I Forget

Never Shall I Forget

Never shall I forget that night,

The first night I learned about your existence

Which changed my life forever

Seven times loved seven times missed

Never shall I forget imagining your little face

Never shall I forget imaging your little toes and fingers

Whose touch would just bring me infinite joy

Beneath the love I would shower upon you

Never shall I forget feeling you move

Which consumed me into feelings of love and hesitance

Never shall I forget that look on his face

Which brought us both to tears of love and fear

Never shall I forget those last days

Which I will cherish for the rest of my life

And turned my dreams into despair

Never shall I forget these things,

Even if I am forced to live

As long as God Himself.


-Kaylin Aubrey Coe


This poem was inspired by NIGHT. I really enjoyed the book and recommend it to anyone looking for a good read 🙂

Sorry I haven’t been posting but I AM BACK! School was taking over my life! I promise to be posting many new posts and pictures soon 🙂


Dance Competitions

The smell of hairspray in the air, the low supply of tights and hair bows in stores, make-up and costumes piled in boxes, and dancers dancing is upon us. It is competition season.

Dance is a super competitive sport. If you disagree you obviously haven’t been to a dance competition. I love them! Elaborate costumes, different style make-up, new and old dance moves, and meeting new people is my favorite part. The dances you see can be so very different! Each studio has something new to bring. The first years are always super nervous (of course I don’t think the nerves ever truly go away). And of course the dancing! The chance to put all of your heart and soul into something you love on that stage is truly amazing. I am so inspired by some of the beautiful dances people leave out on that stage. If you have never been to one I strongly suggest going! 🙂

It isn’t all glitz and glam. There is a lot of preparation before these competitions. Months of practices, rehearsals, dress rehearsals, auditions, and learning all have to happen to create a good dance. Also that hair and make-up might look good on stage but up close putting all of that on is quite difficult. To get everyone’s to look somewhat similar and in time for the next dance is a challenge. Not to mention quick costume changes that might include changing the overall piece, tights, and undergarments. It is not easy to take off tights when you are sweaty, trust me!! On top of that, you most likely have to change hair as well. From ponytails, buns, braids, and pretty much anything you can think of has been done for a routine. Those hair styles usually have different heights and accessories that go along with them such as a high ponytail versus a low ponytail. Everyone needs to look as uniform as possible.

There can be a lot of stress and anxiety involved with these competitions as well. I often have shakes and nervous thoughts about messing up, falling, or forgetting my choreography. Many dancers have the stress of bad hair day or just uncooperating costumes or accessories. It happens all the time. Those smiles on stage are not always true! Sometimes super competitive dancers (such as me) lose sight of the true representation of these events. It is to have fun! Enjoy yourself! We get too carried away worrying about awards and trophies rather than having a blast.

That brings up another point in competitions. Awards. The awards are always at the end of maybe an age group or at the very end of the competition itself. There are thousands of different scales and names for the system. I have been to competitions where they went on a scale from gold being the lowest and double platinum being the highest. You just never know! Most competitions have anywhere from 3-5 judges that write final scores on paper. Some have recorded voice corrections and tips that the judges give or videos along with the final scores with corrections listed. It really just depends on the competition.

Dance competitions are great entertainment. To see young girls and boys doing something they love is always a grand thing. I am really proud and excited to be a part of a competition team. My first competition is actually this Saturday March 1st! I am very excited. The first competition is always the one with the most nerves. But a lot of motivation and adreniline is also involved! I hope that if you get the chance to attend a dance competition you’ll go. It really is quite an experience and you will probably give more respect to those hard working dancers!

Would you go to a dance competition? Do you think you would enjoy it? Let me know in the comments! 🙂

Happy Dancing! 🙂

Vent Session #3

I usually don’t like it when people tweet or post a status about how much they ¨hate¨ their parents. But I understand sometimes how they can just get on your nerves or do something that you think is so stupid…

I love my parents to death. Let me get that straight. However, as a teenager I think it is right of passage to feel anger or distrust to at least one of them. It happens to everyone. They just do one little something (or big something) that just gets on your last nerves. I have this feeling right now…..and I am not coping with it to well.

First a little background.

My family is composed of me, my brother, my mom, my dad, and two dogs. My dad obviously has a temper issue. My brother has ADHD but is so super smart. My mom is a nurse and has a serious back problem. And I perfectionist and a dancer. Not to mention, at this time I am sick. I feel like crap. I hope I am not the only one who thinks this, but when I am sick I really don’t want to do anything, at all. I just want to lay in bed all day, eat soup, and watch movies. Dad wants to get things done, but he is tired because he works third shift. He desperately wants to get all of my dance costumes out of the garage and  just didn’t feel up to helping him….

That is where it got ugly…my dad’s temper flared. He started to scream, yell, cuss, and complain about how lazy and uncooperative we were. he threatened to leave us. It was madness. Momma got mad, I cried, and Greyson was in his ¨I am just going to stand here and be quietly and act like nothing is happening¨ state, and my boyfriend was over as well.  I thought it was completely uncalled for! To act like that towards your family, much less in front of a guest! My boyfriend was furious. It was just overall a horedous experience. I have not really talked to my dad that much since. This isn’t the first time my dad has threatened to leave either. Last time, he threatened to leave us because the house wasn’t clean. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous!!

Am I the only one who thinks this is unnecessary ? Let me know your opinion in the comments…

P.S. Thanks for putting up with my venting! 🙂

Vent Session #2


This one is for the guys I guess…….but I do believe many girls will agree with me!

Okay guys, let me get one thing straight. If you like a girl, TELL HER. She might just like you back.

Now, I haven’t dealt with the ¨dating market¨ for about 7 months. However, now it seems all of my friends think I am a genius about relationships and they want me to hook them up with really good guys. In order to do that I have had to revive my old ¨sources¨ on guys and girls, get back onto the twitter drama, the Facebook relationship statuses, and the rumors. I have found that my sources are the best I’ve got but it never hurts to see who may or may not like who. Dating is fun, heck yeah. And it is something that you experiment with. Most people don’t know what they like right off the bat, so you have to date around (not sleep around people) to find out what you like and what you don’t like. There is nothing wrong with dating around! That is actually kind of the point…

I have found that the girls (at least in my high school) are much more open about what they like and what they don’t. Most girls will tell their friends the juicy stuff like who they think is cute, funny, smart, or ugly, immature, and dumb. Guys, I really don’t know full details (I am obviously not a guy) but from my experiences with my boyfriend and the things he has told me and his friends’situations I think I have got the gist. Guys aren’t afraid to say if a girls hot, or even ugly. I can learn that just by walking with guys in the mall. (bad idea people) They don’t really tell a lot of people if they have a crush on a girl or if they want to date. Guys seem to hide those feelings a lot better than girls. But seriously guys? If you have a crush on a girl TELL HER. Girls go crazy over that stuff. Honestly you can’t say that hearing someone has a crush on you doesn’t make you feel good, confident, and perhaps slighty attracted to that person. That is normal! You never know until you try.

Guys if you really want to impress a girl, hit up her social media or just simply smile at her in the hallways. Girls love it when guys flirt. You aren’t a good flirt? Relax, it is easy and comes naturally. You might even be surprised at how many normal, everyday things could be counted as flirting. Guys I believe it is actually kind of adorable when a guy is a bad flirt or gets nervous around me. It shows you are trying, and you are at least attempting and putting yourself out there. Girls love that! A good guy is hard to find these days!

So don’t be afraid to express your feelings! (Unless she/he is taken, then backkk offfff) But just put yourself out there. Dating is an up and down experience, you can’t really help that. A heartbreak could happen but so could love! You never know unless you ask. Don’t be afraid to date around, that is what dating is all about! Get yourself out there ad find out what characteristics you like and what you don’t. Go Date! It is good for you!

P.S. Thanks for putting up with my venting! 🙂

P.S.S. Any advice or tips I missed? Or maybe you want to share a dating experience?  Let me know in the comments!

& Happy Dating! 🙂

Vent Session

Oh my gosh I can not even start on how much I hate drama. It is awful, yet you just can’t seem to get through high school without it.

Everyone makes mistakes! Can’t people understand that? There is only one person who has ever walked this earth that didn’t sin and we all know who that was, NOT YOU! I don’t understand why people have to stick their noses into all of the business they can find. It truly isn’t fair.

For example, I did something so so so very stupid this past summer. (Not getting into details) It created a whole bunch of drama and it was miserable. It was so bad I would cry every night for about a week. Peer pressure get to me so easily, that is why I got into the whole mess. I was a victim! But of course horny teenage boys with nothing better to do didn’t see it that way. They always try to make it into something sooo much worse. I hate boys sometimes. Anyway, I got a ¨DM¨ on instagram yesterday. Some horny teenage boy with nothing better to do brought it up again! PEOPLE summer was like half a year ago. PLEASE let it go. I went off, I just couldn’t contain my anger and frustration. I think I taught that boy a lesson. (Of course, never play fire with fire. Try not to cuss somebody out) However, I was just completely over the situation.

So there would be so much less drama if people would just ask straight up instead of asking their buddy, then their buddy asking their buddy, then that buddy asking their other buddy! That is how rumors start. If you hear something about someone that neither you or whoever told you can prove just ask the person! They might be offended, or perhaps angry, but in the long run they would appreciate that you didn’t just start spreading around something that wasn’t true. And if you hear something, and you ask the person it is about if it’s true and they say yes? Well first off that can make an awkward situation. But you could maybe help that person! You can find out the back story to their situation. The back story to every rumor could really just change your viewpoint on it entirely. For example, you hear a girl in school is pregnant. You ask the girl if she is and she says yes! From that point she can confide in you, and give you insight about why, or who, or how, whatever! Or she might say she doesn’t want to talk about it. In that case just walk away, because no one likes every single person being up in all of their business. Unless you are an extreme attention seeker. However, she might tell you she was raped. That completely changes your look on the rumor doesn’t it? It wasn’t her fault why should you be making fun of her, or mocking her, or just spreading those misleading rumors about her?

That is the problem with drama. Everyone can take it a different way. Teenagers especially can use their imaginations that can put a spin on pretty much anything. The drama starters in school are the ones who make possibly something so innocent into the devil’s work with just a change of a few words. Be careful who you listen to, what you say, and what you believe is true. People lie! But also people make mistakes. Try not to judge your peers or people around you. Drama is drama.

P.S. Thank for putting up with my venting! 🙂

Which Sport has the Most Respect?

Do you give respect to those hard-hitting football players, or the dancers who never quit?

Answer my poll about the sport that has the most respect! Let me know why in the comments! 🙂

Happy Voting 🙂


The callous old man was watching the sly cat ever so closely. He starred as it crawled underneath the rug and became just a hump in the the carpet. Mr. Hall’s grimace was full of hate. He was very indignant about the cat as soon as his daughter got it for him. The only reason he kept it was to be reminded of how loving his daughter was until she succumbed to her dementia years ago. He continued to watch her as she tore the ends of the fabric that he had done such a commendable job on. Mr. Hall’s hate just grew as he continued to watch her. All of a sudden, with only a slight apprehensive thought that quickly withdrew from his mind, he picked up the chair which he was sitting on and slammed it down onto the carpet. It seemed ineffectual, the cat dodged the hit and continued to roll around beneath the vibrant fabric. The bright colors and swirls moved like waves as the cat moved underneath. He followed the initial blow with many melodramatic swings and tosses of the chair. His movements were unusual and almost unnecessary. He quoted some old poems from his old war days verbatim as he swung with all his might. At that moment, the young amiable women who lived above him rushed into the room. She calmed him down as best she could and whispered that it was okay. Her whimsical style of outfit and hair styles made her seem very out of the ordinary but all she cared about were people. Maybe that is why she stays at the institution. She continued to rub his head as he slid a piece of the broken chair into his heart.

Anorexia Nervosa

What is wrong with today’s society? Girls and boys starving themselves to fir into the image of what we are suppose to be? That is ridiculous. Yet, I say that when in fact I am a victim myself…

First, some facts.

Anorexia Nervosa has been around for quite some time. It may not have been front page news but it has always been there as a quiet killer. Although it is most common in females, boys can develop it as well. The people most effected by anorexic are usually teenagers and young adults, however it affects all age groups. When a person has anorexia they starve themselves, cut calories, and often skip meals. Anorexia is the third most common long-term condition in teenagers. It is also the most common cause of death (up to 12 times higher than any other condition) among young women ages 15 to 24. 20% of people suffering from anorexia will prematurely die from complications related to their eating disorder, including suicide and heart problems. Female athletes in aesthetic sports (e.g. gynmastics, ballet, figure skating) found to be at the highest risk for eating disorders. An estimated 10-15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are male.

Symptoms of this disorder include: dry skin, thin appearance, thin or falling out hair, brittle nails, constipation, intolerance of cold, and dizziness or fainting. Some effects are it can cause brittle bones, bad breath, kidney failure, metabolism difficulties, osteoporosis, fatigue, low blood pressure, irregular heart ryhthms, and heart failure.

Now to the stories.

High school, and even middle school is filled with drama, bullying, and judgement, everyone knows that. I am a 10th grader and I know first hand what peer pressure, stress, and anxiety can do to a teenager. I am also a dancer. The struggle to be thin and look skinny these days is unreal. In school, every single day I see someone who is skinnier than me, someone who looks prettier than me, and then someone who bullys me for not being skinny. Every single day I believe I have thought at least once ¨Do I look fat in this?¨ or ¨Why am I so fat?¨ It is not healthy either, I know that, but I just can’t help it. My friends and family tell me all the time how skinny I am, but I can always find someone skinnier and prettier. I struggle with self image and self confidence. The stress and anxiety I get from school and dance doesn’t help either. That brings up another point, ballet. In ballet you want to have perfect posture, you suck in, have nice toned arms and legs that look good in a leotard and tights, and be skinny. Although the dance world is changing and is maybe slowly adopting bigger dancers, the Royal Ballet for example in New York has all skinny, tiny, perfect ballerinas. Many ballet dancers develop anorexia because they want to look the best on stage, or to have their teacher not to tell that they look fat at the barre and need to lose weight. As a dancer myself, I want to be skinny. I envy all of those perfect ballerinas with the perfect body.  I belive that and my school stressors is what drove me to develop anorexia nervosa.

It started out as just skipping lunch every other day, then everyday. After that, I would skip a breakfast or a dinner. I saw weight coming off and I got excited that it seemed to be working. However, now I know that I was just hurting my body. I worked out all the time. There is nothing with a daily gym routine, I think it is a fabulous stress reliever. But with my anorexic mind I was taking it too far. I would workout every single day for at least two hours. It was all I could think about. I wanted to gain some muscle mass but really I just wanted all of that fat off of my body. I would exhaust myself to the point where I would pass out. I actually passed out at school once during a Physical Training class in AFJROTC at school. I scared all of my classmates, boyfriend, and parents to death. I loved loosing weight. I would weigh myself constantly, sometimes 5 times in a single day. Then I started noticing some bad changes were going on as well. I couldn’t focus as easily as I once did. My eyesight worsened. I felt weak after only two dance classes. And worse of all, I felt bloated all of the time. There was like a never-ending emptiness in my stomach. I loved that feeling at first, thinking that it was good sign, that I was doing it right. I realize only now that I was just screaming for food and nurishment. I lost 10 pounds in one week. My parents and even some of my friends told me how great I looked. I was thrilled! But later on that same day, my boyfriend found out.

He made sure I ate at least a sandwich at lunch everyday and had 2-3 bottles of water. He gave me snacks all the time and told my parents what was really going on. They are going to start taking me to the therapist and doctor more often now. They are trying to get me to get on anti-depression and anxiety medications. I actually feel better now. I feel fat, but I know that it is for my well-being. Without my boyfriend, I don’t know where I would be.

Moral of the story? If you have this disorder, tell someone! I know it is hard but it better for you! Anorexia nervose is not the answer to look better. There are workout trainers and nutrition specialists that are willing to help. Also therapists are everywhere as well as guidane couselors. Just ask someone! I am here as well. If you or a friend are developing symotms please just reach out. There is someone out there who is willing to help!

Dancing Shoes

Dancing Shoes

Who knew that just one pair of pointe shoes could mean so much to me? The toughest pair of silk and wood I would ever wear. My very first pair of these ballet shoes will forever be something special to me and my dance. Not only are they beautiful, they show my dedication and strive to get through the worst situations. My first pair of pointe shoes may be worn, but they are my daily reminder to prove those who doubt me wrong.

To any person who is not a dancer or familiar with dance, my pointe shoes would look dirty and gross. However, to a dancer my pointe shoes show hard work, lots of practice, and determination. My ribbons are frayed and wrinkled. The peach colored silk is now faded and torn. The boxes of both shoes are softened and less durable than before. My arches are broken and worn out by so much use. They smell of sweat and feet, gross I know, but who deliberately would smell dance shoes? They still make those soft, pinpoint sounds when they strike the floor. The silk on the outside covering most of the shoe is smooth other than a few sections where the silk is coming apart. The pink thread that does not match the color of the silk is slowly unraveling. My pointe shoes may be worn out and used up, but they still are showing all of the work I put into them as well as my dedication and determination.

I was looking at my pointe shoes a few nights after my big performance. They were definitely showing their wear and tear at this point. The silk was hanging off and my ribbons were holding on by only a few threads. I took them out of my large black dance bag and instantly got a whiff of all of the blood, sweat and tears I put into that dance season. Now that the box that once held all of my weight is soft and the arch is too bendable I can not safely use them. I was sad. They were my very first pair of pointe shoes. The big step I took from just being a typical ballet dancer. I knew they had done their job. They will always be very special to me. My first pair is unique in its own way and very memorable. It’s once beautiful and different peach color that only I had is now either faded or turned to black. They may have lost their shine, but those pointe shoes will always remind me of what I have accomplished.

I feel that in my life I have not really accomplished anything that was super remarkable or scrapbook worthy, then I got my first pair. My pointe shoes are not just any pair of shoes. They remind me of what I have accomplished not only in class, but in my dance career. In dance, I always thought that I wasn’t good enough. However, I put those shoes on and started to dance. I felt a different kind of confidence. That was the moment in which I realized that I could be as good as the senior girls. They were so strong and beautiful. Now, they hang in my room as a daily reminder that I can do whatever I put my mind to. Even though at first I thought I could never do it, that I was never going to be good enough, I tried. That was the first real time that I overcame such a big self confidence and fear obstacle. My pointe shoes show all of that dedication I have towards my sport. Blood, sweat, and tears were poured into those shoes. I loved that new kid of confidence boost whenever I put them on. I have had multiple pairs since that very first pair, but the shoes that showed me that I could do anything will always hold a very special place in my heart. I proved all of those who doubted me wrong with those shoes.

My very first pair of pointe shoes is so special to me. They might look nasty and disgusting on the outside, but the meaning and what they represent to me really shines through. They gave me the confidence and motivation I needed to excel and improve in dance. I worked so hard and put all my heart and soul into dance only to show for one night. Those shoes were with me through every step, turn, and leap I took. My first pair of pointe shoes may be worn, but they are my motivation to prove those who doubt me wrong. My motivation to prove to everyone who doubted me in my dance is represented by my worn pointe shoes.

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